I was feelin' low, low, low......


Okay, so this blog is totally gonna get serious and it might make you cry... I am sorry in advanced if it does...this is kinda hard for me to talk about but I will try my best..M'k..?


So for about a year Ken and I thought that we needed to complete our family and add baby #4 to our CRAZY life.. I mean with 3 kids, 2 dogs, and the craziness of life in general why not, right?!!
So I kept track of my regular cycle and my ovulation cycle and


and



AND


NOTHING!!  I would get my period like CLOCKWORK!   So when Obama-care hit..to be quit honest I really was freaking out about it...I mean I was all " I think everyone should have healthcare, but o the other hand I don't think that people should be punished or fined because they can't afford it".It's crazy expensive...like here let me hand over to you my arm and leg...or my first born child as payment.
Anywho, everyone in my house had insurance but me, Ken had his provided through work, the kids had theirs. and I'm over here in the corner...all alone!  I'm like the last kid picked for kickball...

ok maybe its not that bad :-)  Moving on!!

So I had to make the lovely phone call to get healthcare..and the premium we pay...shoot! Its AWESOME!!

In April I was fully covered!! AND you guys they even cover EYE CARE!!! WOO-HOO cuz yup I have astigmatism in BOTH stikin' eyes...so contacts and glasses NOT CHEAP!!

Don't judge me, but it has been like 5 years since I have seen a DR. Yup, the only insurance I had was Medicaid so the last time I had seen my OB/Gyn was after I had Sam. So I knew it was time for a check up.. I wanted to go and show them how awesome I look now....but then I didn't want to go and have a lecture about how important it is to get checked out,,yada, yada, yada.  I really didn't like those lectures from my Dad about breaking curfew and so when ever I get yelled at my mind will go into rebellious teenager mode...but that's a whole other story.

Besides..I really didn't want to take Sam with me to the DR. Talk about scaring him for LIFE!! So I decided to wait until Sept. to go, so that way all the kids would be in school and I wouldn't have to worry about leaving Sam with anyone or him seeing what he really shouldn't be seeing. In the meantime we just keep trying and every month...I am disappointed to point where I'm balling and praying like I know that we are suppose to have a fourth....why is this so hard!?It shouldn't be, right??

The previous December I went to the Temple to get some answers and I did get my answers like we are SUPPOSE to have a fourth, just not right now. Which made me feel better...but then the doubting thought creep in. When Ken blessed the kids before school started I to jumped at the chance to have a blessing..and again I was told that this year is a time for me to focus on my health and my body, that it would happen but in the Lords' time frame and not mine. Also I was told to stop doubting those things which I learned in the Temple.  I felt relief but at the same time I was worried...to me it felt like there was something wrong with me..like maybe by not seeing my Dr. for 5 years I had caused some serious underlying damage to my health,

So 9-11-14 is the day of my appointment...my stomach is in knots or butterflies. And  the nurse or MA who was taking my vitals and previous history kept double checking the picture of me that they had on file to my face..it was AWESOME!!! Anyway..with the breast exam and the pap out of the way..I thought about not saying anything....but I just can't get these thoughts of there being something wrong with me out of the way..so I tell her... Ken and I have been trying to have number 4 for like a year now..and nothing is happening...is there something wrong. She suggested lab work to see what was going on..its not that I am scared of needles, because I am a Medical Assistant, but my mom mind kicked in and I thought.." how much is this going to cost..no..wait I have insurance it will be okay."

"Okay..if something is wrong I wanna know".

"k...we will get labs drawn and then we will go from there."

So off to the lab area I went and I go to Rosemark...they moved with in the last year...and its all swanky..very posh...very like I felt like a bull in a china shop.

I get the labs drawn and it took minutes...I am a good bleeder...that's what the Phlebotomist said...I cracked up cuz it was funny!!

So a week later...Ding Dong....Rosemark's calling!!

As it turns out I have Hypothyroidism.. SAY WHAT!!! My thyroid it not excreting out enough of the hormone that it causes these symptoms : fatigue, weakness, weight gain( hard to loose also guys at the beginning of the summer I was weighing in at 162, now I am at 171. I was hoping it was to do packing on muscle..but now I know its not) dry skin, hair loss, sensitivity to cold, muscle cramps, forgetfulness, depression, irritability, infertility if left untreated.  It's more common in women, some studies have shown a link between pregnancy and the lack of the hormone.The list continues.
after I got off of the phone..I sat in stunned silence. I was shocked..just shocked. I just can't seem to catch a break.

I had lost +70lbs, I was doing something good for me. I was taking care of me and this is how my body repays me...by not making enough of the hormone...after coming out of my stupor I was like this is the answer...this is why I am so tired ALL THE TIME!

I could sleep for 12 hours and still need a nap in the afternoon, my get up and has got up and went. It was like that divine moment when the clouds part and I knew now why. This is the answer to one of my many prayers. On Friday, Ken and I went to fill my prescription..and on one hand I'm happy to have the diagnosis and am happy to know...but on the other had...I have to take a pill for the rest of my life!! It has only been 3 days since I have started taking Levothyroxin and I can immediately tell a difference, I have more energy now, I don't feel the need to take a nap!  I am not as moody, I am just my normal self before I had kids...I remember me now!!  The only draw back I have found is that I have to take these pills on an empty stomach,,,and I can't have dairy for 4-hours after I take the pill! That means....no more pancakes for me on Saturdays... in our house every Saturday is pancake day...but it could be worse, I could still not know.
 Also I have to have my blood drawn every 3 months to make sure that the pills are working. Which sucks but oh well.





So hopefully we within the next year will have a new little one at our house..


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